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By Abdulkadir Salaudeen
To say ‘sex is part of life’, is not to paint the whole picture—t is also good for health; and we are all its product. If the world is truly 4.5 billion year old—according to scientific estimate—only three persons in this long period were not product of sex—this is speaking from Islamic perspective. These are Adam and Hawwa (Eve); then our noble Prophet Isa (Jesus) [may Allah have mercy on them]. Though the non-Christian Jews claim that he (Jesus) is a bastard! Read ‘Virgin Mother or Bastard Child’. This is a terrible claim by the enemies of Allah.
Nevertheless, the Qur’an exonerates him (Jesus) from any traces of sordidness. He is impeccable, so was his birth and his mother to whom a whole chapter was devoted in the Qur’an. The Qur’anic account of Jesus’ miraculous birth and the piety of his mother (Maryam/Mary) is unrivalled, matchless and unparalleled in excellence and accuracy (see Qur’an 19:1-40). He is among the most five venerated prophets in Islam (, 33:7, and 46:35).
Since we are all products of sex, why do we shy away from discussing it? Why do we condemn it when it is expressed in the public in form of sex parties? Why do we hush it when it is done even in camera? Sex is so delicate that its scandals are hyped more than other scandals.
This article focuses on the above questions. Going by most cultures, you may not be qualified to discuss this topic if you are not married. If you do, people would suspect that you have been attending sex parties! Therefore, if you are not married, read it only!! It’s a taboo to discuss it after reading it!!!
In Islam, sex is an act of worship. But quickly, not the casual sex that ensues in sex parties. It is the one that occurs within the fold of lawful marriage. The Prophet informed his companions that every act of worship is charity. He gave examples of some apparent acts of worship like enjoining what is good, forbidding what is evil…then he added: having intercourse (with one’s wife) is also a charity. On hearing this (sex), the companions were abashed and amazed. They wondered how someone gets reward for a private pleasurable activity. Then the Prophet made a quizzical expression. He said: “Do you not see that if he does it in a haraam (illicit) way he will bear the burden of sin? So if he does it in halaal (licit) way, he will have a reward for that” (Muslim).
From the above, every sound, healthy, matured, and capable Muslim would prioritise marriage (sex), at least for three major reasons. One, continuity of human existence; two, reaping Allah’s reward; and the third one. I will not mention it. For those who know it, it sounds like enjoyment! It also sounds like pleasure. I am not saying it is pleasurable! It is this prospect for enjoyment—though illicitly expressed—that leads to the upsurge of cases of sexual parties that now dots our cultural milieu.
Therefore, sex, if abused, leads to general destruction—not only of those who abused it, but also those who allowed it to be abused. And nothing typifies an abuse of sex like these ubiquitous sex parties. The Prophet (SAW) said: “Among the most evil people before Allah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who comes to his wife and has intercourse with her, then he spread her secret” (Muslim).
This is within marriage. What if outside marriage? This is why sex is hushed and unlawful on camera. It has to be in camera—only within the confine of marriage. It is not meant for public consumption. But in sex parties, participants tantalize themselves with sex that is considered a secret affair which should never be divulged. The only exemption is when faced with some complicated sexual issues (in marriage) which may necessitate seeking advice (solution) from trustworthy sexual therapist or any trustworthy person who can proffer solution.
People who engage in sex parties trespass all limits by objectifying sex. They commodify it.
They commercialize it. And painfully—because it takes two to tango—ladies are the most terrible victims. While it is true that males and females are equal in this burden of sin before Allah and in the eyes of the law, females suffer more social consequences afterwards.
Therefore, organizers, fans, advocates of sex parties, along with those who are able to condemn it but refuse to, are among the worst people in the sight of Allah. Atrocities and evils associated with sex parties are too numerous to quantify. The Qur’an forbids us from going close to it. It says; “Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way (Q17:32). Why partying when Allah says: “And We did not create the heaven and earth and that between them in play (Q21:16)? “Then did you think that We created you uselessly and that to Us you would not be returned?”(Q23:115).
This is why parents, religious and traditional leaders must take responsibility. What is more, everyone with a scintilla of righteousness, must condemn sex parties. It is the desecration of marriage. It is the desecration of that hallowed path through which we find ourselves in this worldly existence. Also, it is an expression of shamelessness of the highest degree. And lack of respect for motherhood.
Sex parties are arena for open fornication. They are the new spots where, sadly, our adolescents, youths, and useless elders express the sorry state of our cultures which are on the verge of extinction. They also speak volumes of the emptiness of our religious houses of worship which are the most visible structures in our cities, towns, and villages. In fact, people endowed with riches build large and extravagantly beautified churches and mosques—it is a sort of competition.
This wouldn’t have been a bad thing intrinsically, but houses of worships become useless if in spite of their growing number, there is spike in immorality and corruption—perhaps some of them were built from the proceeds of corruption. For how do you explain the relationship between the quantum increase in places of worship and the upsurge in violent crimes, insecurity and other social vices? This is asymmetrical.
Sex parties are abnormalities in Nigeria and elsewhere. Very abnormal are they if organized in the northern Nigeria which cultures have some Islamic influence. The northern Muslims pride themselves as true followers of Allah and the Prophet (SAW).
Thus can such people who are true followers of the Prophet get entangled in this animalistic expression of sex? Yesterday it was Kaduna, today it is Bauchi; who knows where the breaking news will be broken tomorrow? Kudos to Kaduna State government and the Police Command in Bauchi State for doing the needful to thwart sex parties in their states. They need to do more.
Those who deceitfully argue that sex parties are not against Nigerian Constitution being democratic are right to the extent that they exploit the loopholes of the law to advance an ignoble cause. They should fear Allah. If there is nothing wrong with nudity and sex parties from the perspective of democracy, should we just give a nod to Aristotle’s submission that democracy is the worst form of government?
Finally, it was said that “culture is the root of politics, and religion is the root of culture”. I don’t know of any Nigerian culture that encourages or rather celebrates shameless expression of stark nudity in public in the name of sex parties. We ask Allah to protect us from this evil.
Abdulkadir Salaudeen writes from Gashua
salahuddeenabdulkadir@gmail.com
Twitter handle, @salahuddeenAbd
[…] a previous article, I alluded to the botched sex parties in Kaduna and Bauchi. Just last week, another strip party was […]